– [Keith] We’re going to see the moose, the moose, the moose. We’re going to see the moose, the moose today! – See, Zach’s the lynx, I think. And then, Keith’s the moose. And then, Ned, you’re a brown bear. And I’m a tundra wolf. – [Ned] I guess that makes sense. – [Eugene] Yeah. Tundra wolf. – I’m the moose? (upbeat music) – Welcome to our beautiful Alaska getaway! (plane engine) – It’s eight o’clock, and already Alaska is bubbling with excitement! It’s like he can’t not look majestic. – That thing can fuck you up. – Now we’re going an a nature adventure today… If we don’t get blown away. – What kind of animal is this? – [Ned] They usually don’t have Ned. – [Zach] Found it right here. – Really? We’re here in Alaska filming a very special secret video. – We have more days here than we have things to do. Luckily, we’ve got a game. – We have now embarked on foot for our morning moose hunt. It’s a cold, hard moose butt.
Whoa! Okay we’re leaving, bye-bye! No more chain link fences will protect us. We are going out into the wild. The other three guys are asleep.
They did karaoke. – Fuck! I’m like a bird! I only fly away! – (inaudible) – ?Part of that world? – Where do I go, there’s no end! – [Ned] Here’s where we go for the end of the world. – This is like when the character goes into the forbidden woods. Florida man gets mauled by a moose in Alaska trying to take a picture of it. (ominous music) Oh, that’s not tiny. I don’t know if he sees us. Oh God he sees us, he definitely sees us now.
He knows we’re vlogging. (screaming) – I’m going to surprise the rest of the guys. I got them some coffees. Let’s see. – [Keith] Ned! – [Ned] Good morning! – Stop it! – [Ned] We’re in Alaska! Eugene wake up! – No, I don’t wanna.
– I’m Zach. I’m weak. (laughter) – Hey, what do you guys wanna do today, huh? – Ow! – [Ned] This is a game that Buzzfeed made, let’s play it. – [Keith] And awkward party game by Buzz Fuzz. – This is a game called “Social Sabotage”, the way it works is one person draws a “where” card like, “send a man…” and then the other players have to pick one of their cards. So you might have to send a man, “I’ve always admired your calf muscles.” – So this is like hypothetical texting? – Every one is different, a lot of these are posted on your Facebook or on your Instagram– – And if the person does it, they get a point.
Boom, let’s play. – Send a woman (guys laughing) – Oh, I got it, Keith you’re gonna pick mine. – So should I send a woman “my breath smells like beef jerky”? Should I send a woman a video of you in the bathroom pointing out all the features? Or, a photo of you kissing your own reflection? That is, that is perfect to a T! – Dammit! – I’m doing it.
– [Zach] Wow, this is hot. Okay, that’s enough. – What? I like me. – Can we go see a moose now? We have arrived at the Nature Conservation Center. We’re gonna see some animals.
(“Old McDonald Had a Farm” playing) – So they aren’t married, it’s just sort of a free-for-all. – It’s a free-for-all, big salmon orgy. They die for love. – Wow, they just mix all of their seed together.
– Sounds like your Wednesday date nights, Ned. – It is not like my Wednesday date nights, Zach. – Will you quit it? Everyone can see the bears now, but I’d like to think that the bear and me had a special time when no one else was there. Susan Sarandon, I love your work, can I get an autograph? When a bear comes here, they just must crush salmon. Like, this is so easy. They’re just everywhere. – Yeah, and that’s why our brown bear are bigger. – [Eugene] Yeah. (laughter) – This is all bear-y interesting.
(Eugene dry laughing) – [Zach] Those are big deer.
– Are they expensive, yeah they’re a lot of dough. – Water’s so silty because it’s full of glacial till. – That gets my sill of approval. – Eugene there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. You know what, Alaska you later. – You feeling horny? – I don’t think he heard you. – Yeah this guy’s buff…ello! – I can bear-ly see him. – [Zach] Hello, yes, big fan. I love your work. – Oh, these are elk? – I don’t associate with their elk. – [Zach] Have we been getting it wrong the whole time? Oh dear. Can I get an autograph? Oh my God, you’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. So how’s the phone that was dropped? – [Ned] She dropped her phone in, how embarrassing. – [Zach] Em-bear-assing? Where’s that hot, hot whale action? Whale, I think we’re done here.
Bye, son! – How many exes do you have Ned? – I don’t want to talk about this, you guys.
– [Zach] Did I get a refuse to send an ex? – Ned’s not wife. – [Ned] Come on. – Ned’s not wife. – I use my ex’s HBO Go password still. – What? – You can’t do that when you’re married! (instrumental music) – [Keith] Oh my God, is that an eagle? – It’s a bald eagle. – It’s a bald eagle, Keith. – Wow. It’s beautiful. – Yeah. – And then there’s some other owl over here? (bird screech) (bird screech) – That’s majestic as fuck. – [Eugene] I just ate a bunch of oysters, rock and roll! My older sister texts back, “fuck you”. Then my little sister texts back, “Yeah, fuck you.” – [Keith] Wow.
– Family! – [Keith] Family. Whoa, what happened? What just happened to you? – I sneezed and I coughed. I snoughed. – [Keith] That sounded like an animal. – It started as I sneezed. – Speaking of animals, I wonder what they’re up to right now. Oh Snickers, you do not smell good. (porcupine whining) I’m sorry that I said you smell bad. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. – [Eugene] Nice to know even wild cats act just like cats. – That fact that he wants nothing to do with me makes me want him more.
– [Keith] These are real wolves. – Are those meat cubes? – Yeah, they’re actually blood pops. – [Ned] So, what are these cubes? – Literally frozen chicken blood. I made them earlier today. – [Ned & Zach] You made them? – [Girl] Yeah. – [Zach] You little chef. – [Keith] You’re a chef. – Do you guys want to get some gloves on? – You can throw the last four. – [Distorted Voice] Yes. Yes. Yes. – Oh my God. – [Ned] Oh my God, we get to feed wolves! Yeah, so what are blood pops made out of? – The blood of your father.
– [Zach] We’re gonna break one of those rules. – I’ll do the inaugural blood cube. Delicious, healthy, blood cubes.
Yeah! – So boys, who’s hungry? – [Keith] (inaudible) that blood cube! – What was your favorite part about the blood cube? – Oh, probably the cube. – Can you sit? The female took a little bit of it, but he got a lick. He got a lick. – Blood pops! – Time to leave now. – Oh that’s my new buddy. What’s the name of the porcupine here? – [Zach] Snickers. – Snickers. – Snickers, oh. Maybe I’ll call him, I’m gonna name you Porcupine. – [Ned] Very creative. This is the greatest day of my life. So soft. – So soft. Oh it’s so soft, so soft. – Whoa, hey! This has been a vlog, thanks for the vlog, (grunting) You get it! – [Keith] You get it, there’s a bear.
– [Ned] Oh shit! – [Eugene] On Dasher, Prancer, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph. – Where’s Chanta? – [Keith] Chanta is dead. – ?I’m your biggest fan? – ?Don’t lead me his way? – ?Something I were to feel with? – I don’t know, there’s no end! I don’t know!.